Unity Sand Ceremony

No. You would not need to bring a table with you if it were an inconvenience.

Honored guests could hold the bottles for you.

In case you were eloping and had no guests, I could hold the smaller bottles and pass them to you as needed; likewise, the vessel into which you poured the sand.

Some couples prefer to use natural beach sand that they have collected from places meaningful to them.

Did you enjoy a trip to Cape Cod and scoop up sand there? Did you bring black sand from Hawaii? Or red sand from Greece? If the colors of the two sands are very different, the blending is more visually striking.

You might be tempted to just borrow sand from one of Connecticut’s many shoreline beaches. That sounds like an inexpensive and easy thing to do, but beach sand usually has salt and seaweed from the nearby water, twigs, and splinters, and (all too frequently) living creatures. Having a crab join your party would probably not be fun for you or the crab.

If you do decide to use sand that you have found, please first sift it, then wash and repeat. Salt will corrode metal, such as a metal cap or band.

Some couples favor using specially colored craft sand (which requires no cleaning). Red and blue combine harmoniously to make purple, for example. Your theme colors could be echoed in your sand colors or could complement them.

“What about the sand bottles?”

You will want one smaller bottle for each person who is going to actively participate and one larger bottle to hold the blended sand. Ideally, all of the bottles will be transparent so that the colors show through, and the larger bottle will have a cork or plastic top that fits snugly so that the sand does not spill when carried.

The word “Eclectic” may apply to your collection of bottles. Thrift shops, such as Goodwill or Salvation Army, are the ideal source! They are inexpensive and can be found with fun glass designs. The goal for sizes is that when all the smaller bottles are poured, the large bottle is almost full.

“Why not full?” somebody whispered.

Good question! You probably want to leave room to add more sand from places you travel together.

You probably feel that what is most important is the colored sand within the bottles. Use your own good taste in decorating them.

You could decorate your individual bottles with ribbons of your theme colors, and perhaps interlocking hearts on the jar for the combined sand. How about a pair of lovebirds on the jar lid? Your imagination is the only limit!

If you decide to include a child or children in your Sand Ceremony, you could have each child decorate their own bottle (with your design help and supervision, of course).

Most couples give their sand bottle a place of honor in their home, such as on a mantle or on display in a china cabinet. Couples who have had handfastings sometimes drape the cords or ribbons around their sand bottles.

Doris and Melvin did something different. Because Doris had to remain in a convalescent hospital temporarily, I married them there. After the sand was poured into the vase and blended, it was poured back into their individual bottles. Each partner had a bottle with a foundation of their original sand with the mixed sand on top, filling the bottle. Each spouse kept their sand bottle by their bedside, Doris in the hospital and Melvin at home. When Doris had recovered, the separate bottles were combined again to be at the couple’s bedside in their home.

In the convalescent hospital it was especially important to use plastic bottles with twist-off caps to avoid the possibility of breakage or spillage.

Update: Thank you, everyone who has asked since Doris and Melvin's story was first told! Doris has fully recovered. After their delayed honeymoon, Doris and Melvin are living happily in their own home.