Romantic Wedding in Connecticut
Unity Candle Ceremony
Most couples use one pilar candle (relatively short and big around) and two taper candles (long and relatively thin).
Usually, there is a candle holder for each of the tapers, and a short stand or dish to hold the pillar. Please do not be tempted to remove the tapers from their holders.
If you were eloping, your Unity Candle might symbolize an intimate moment shared just between the two of you. For larger gatherings, however, a Candle Ceremony offers a meaningful way to engage your honored guests as part of your wedding celebration.
“Should we provide a table to hold the elements for our Candle Ceremony?”
A table would be a very good idea. You might have a plant stand at home that would be fine. Round would be best, but it isn't a requirement!
As you see from the photo above, there are things that your guests would not notice, but are essential to your Candle Ceremony going smoothly. For example, a gas lighter. Never depend on matches!
Also, if we were outside, a slight breeze might blow out one or more of your candles; I prefer to have a votive candle burning to quickly relight one or more candles. It is not an ill portent if one or more of your candles goes out, but guests sometimes get worried if that happens.
“Where can we get our candles and accessories?”
A gas-fueled lighter with a long reach is best for lighting your tapers. Your guests will probably not notice it on your table.
Most people use white candles, and couples have decorated their candles. For example, both members of one couple added their birthstone color to their individual taper and wrote both their names in their pillar candle. There is no limit to your creativity!
In craft stores, such as Michael’s, you can find Unity Candle Kits, which tend to be fancy, sometimes with a verse on the pillar. A couple favorite is Bertrand Russell's “Today I Marry My Best Friend.”, which begins, “Today I marry my best friend, the one I have laughed with and cried with....” and ends, “Today I marry the one I love.”
You do not need to purchase special kits! You can easily buy plain taper candles and pillar candles nearly anywhere. And you may already have candle holders and a pretty glass plate for your pillar.
Glass hurricane chimneys come in diverse sizes appropriate for your tapers and pillar. You may even find them at Goodwill or Salvation Army stores for a very reasonable price.
If you prefer not to blow out your candles, a candle snuffer is a nice alternative.
“Could we shield our candles in some way?”
Some couples prefer to have their candles (especially their pillars) in hurricane chimneys.
If you have your tapers in chimneys, you would carefully lift off the chimney, set it aside, and then lift your taper to light your pillar.
“How can we involve other people in our Candle Ceremony?”
The simplest way to have an honored guest participate in your Candle Ceremony is to have them bring your candles forward when it is time. They could also light the tapers for you, which I would (with your permission) mention as being wonderfully symbolic of their love having been passed down to you.
You know your own child or children best, of course. If you believe that they can use a taper to light the pillar, then you could have each participating child have a taper of their own. (Practice at home is strongly recommended before your big day!) It can be a challenge to have more than two people at a time trying to light one candle. A Sand Ceremony is much easier to add children to!
“What do we do with our candles after the Unity Ceremony?”
Whether you choose to leave the tapers burning or blowing them out is up to you. (I have appropriate words to say in either case.) Generally, the pillar candle is left lit until your entire wedding ceremony is over.
After your wedding ceremony is over, the pillar may be moved to your table at your reception. Please blow out the flame temporarily before you move your candle and avoid spilling hot wax! You can relight your candle when you get it safely in place.
What questions can I answer for you?
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